You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
