wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You smell like stripper and shame
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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