Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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