i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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