She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
