Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
