Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
