i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I want a musical about memes.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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