So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
True strength comes from lack of pants
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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