I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
