Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
