I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
where am i from again
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
