She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
