So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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