Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
