Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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