I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
