You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
