Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize