Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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