I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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