Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
