new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
zippers are such a cool invention
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
