I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
