Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
