i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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