First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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