Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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