3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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