what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
