I need help removing her.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
