I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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