You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
