Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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