Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
