Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
two words...techno handjob
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
