Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
