hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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