OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize