i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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