So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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