she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
