They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
