I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
