Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Randomize