operation harelip BJ is a go
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
