There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
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The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
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He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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