we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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