How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
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I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
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He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.