there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.