Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.

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(713): View more from Texas

If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(503): View more from Oregon

Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.

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(863): View more from Florida

There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.

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(703): View more from Virginia

the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake

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