He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
