You just made me feel so damn special
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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