Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
