I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
