redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I see more hoeing in ur future
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
