Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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