Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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