My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
