pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
