never play flip cup with pint glasses
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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