when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
