he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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