I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
