We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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