wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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