Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
